Everyone has a bad day, or sometimes just a really bad moment. These anonymous embarrassing stories are enough make even the most dignified college student’s skin crawl. To submit a story for the next edition of The Edge, email them to [email protected]
Sweaty and Ready
My roommate last year had an unfortunate problem when she gets really drunk – she tends to wet the bed after she gets back from partying. One weekend we were out having fun at a party when we decided we wanted to go home. Since no one was capable of driving at that point, I called a guy friend to come pick us up, and we decided to just sleep over at his house. After giving my roommate and I his bed while he slept on the couch, I woke up first the next morning – and discovered that my roomie had peed herself all over his bed! Our guy friend eventually saw and asked me what happened, so I lied for my roommate and said that she just “sweats a lot” when she drinks too much. Fortunately he believed me, and to this day he still thinks that my roomie “sweat” his bed.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few years now, but I was really nervous when I first met his parents. I spent a long time getting ready, and went to the bakery to buy what my guy said was his dad’s favorite dessert. It all went great, and after dinner I brought the pie over from the kitchen to the dining room table, and cut his father a piece while I stood next to him. I put it on his plate, thinking I had just officially won him over, and I realized my top had come unbuttoned…really unbuttoned. I was mortified! I’ve never talked to him about it, but whenever I see my boyfriend’s dad I have flashbacks to that time I basically flashed him within an hour of meeting him. Awful!
My friends and I were going to West End for a night of tomfoolery last spring and, in preparation, we consumed a few substances of questionable legality. But instead of loosening me up like I’d hoped, the alcohol just helped me to make, shall we say, interesting decisions. I’m not tall, but I seemed to have attracted the attentions of a young man who was even shorter than I (I’m talking chest level), whom I started dancing with. When my friends looked over, they couldn’t see my short new friend standing in front of me and thought they were witnessing me dancing with myself – an odd sight indeed. The poor boy has forever since been referred to as “The Midget,” and my darling friends never miss an opportunity to relive and reenact this moment.
Black & Blue
Last year my friends and I were walking to a party off campus, and we had all had entirely too much to drink. I mean drunkest we’ve ever been kind of drunk. Our one friend, let’s call her Esther, tripped and fell because she was being a complete sloppy mess. My other friend, let’s call her Beth, and I bent down to pick her up off the ground. In going to stand up, Beth slammed her head into my face. Not only did that hurt extremely badly, but I woke up in the morning with a terrible black eye that didn’t go away for weeks. Try explaining that one to your professors.
Walk of Shame Fame
One morning, after a particularly bad hookup, I was walk-of-shaming it back to my dorm in a very short dress I’d worn the night before with a pair of the guy’s basketball shorts underneath and my high heels in my hand. Not only did I look like a total hot mess, but then I realized it was parents’ weekend. Even though it was only 9 a.m., I walked past at least five families who were visiting campus, and they were all probably judging me hardcore. Glad I could show them what their kids are really doing at college.
Kiss and Miss
My boyfriend was walking me back to my dorm and once we got to the stairs, I turned to say goodnight (I was on the top stair and he was on the ground, since I’m so short!). I leaned in to give him a quick kiss, but missed his lips and got his cheek. He tried to kiss me on the lips, but missed and got my cheek. After several failed attempts to successfully land a kiss (it looked more like a French greeting than a romantic end to the night), I gave up and just gave him a hug, declaring, “Let’s just make this as awkward as possible, shall we!” But we both laughed and the embarrassment was broken.
Stories complied by Kyra Gemberling